We were so close but now we have drifted apart and there seems to be no going back sick and tired of trying to understand. Don’t wanna try anymore I’ve given up. Guess shit like this happens all the time. Best friends. *Bleah* no such thing the only best friend you’ll ever have is yourself. I’ve learned my lesson never get to close to anyone.

It sucked a whole lot. All the people around are still just as hostile. Even with my group of girls I felt so out of place…like an outcast. If there is something wrong why can’t they just say something? And they can still say that we are close like sisters… I don’t think so. Anyway met up with him… passed him the gift I got for him from Malacca. It was so good to see him. After passing him the gift went to meet the girls. It was at the point when I reached there that I could already feel that I wasn’t welcome at all… I know they will say that I am being sensitive but I’m sure in their hearts of hearts they know that there is something wrong and among some of them they prolly have something against me. Speaking of which this reminds me of what I had wanted to blog when I last had the chance to blog. Today reminded me of that night I went clubbing with them. That night was I had the same feeling but worst then today. There was only three of them and me… Through out the whole night they kept talking among themselves like I wasn’t there. In the first place I wasn’t aware that that night was to go clubbing. No one had mentioned anything to me. I don’t know if they had no intention of asking me to join or they had totally forgotten me. It was only then when I met up with them that they asked me to go…. No it was more like after I asked one of them why she’s dressed like she’s going clubbing when it’s just a discussion that we are meeting up for then they asked me to join them to club otherwise even then I bet they would not have mentioned to me anything. Yeah like as if I was prepared to go… Sheesh! What puzzles me is that they could tell me that we were all meeting up to discuss about the christmas gathering and yet fail to mention about clubbing. Some friends I’ve got…or should I say “sisters”? **** smsed me to ask if I was ok… Told him that I was fine just alittle upset. He wanted to know why but I just dint feel like telling him. Anyway another thing that upset me was that guy who asked me to be his girlfriend…. the pass few days have been so angry with him… He calls me like twenty-four-seven, giving me no peace at all. Yesterday was the last straw and I told him that I dint want him to call me and I dint want to see him anymore… that I totally want no contact with him… BUT!!! He still sms me!In every message he calls me darling or dear. Argh! Goosepimples are out!I think I’ll just ignore all his messages until I have my number changed which would be soon… Haha!Can’t wait! Hmmm… that’s all for now I guess. Can’t think of anymore things to blog.

It improved a little cos I got to talk to **** on the phone… hehe! But the day ended bad cos the guy whom I’m avoiding kept calling and smsing me non-stop and I made a mistake in falling for his trick to get me to call him. He messaged me saying that he had something to tell me. Was contemplating if I should call back in which I did in the end cos I was thinking what if it was something important. Was so angry that I could not sleep last night. Anyway today improved a whole lot. Saw pingz in school. Was so happy to see her!!! Then after that I saw ****…. hahaha!Even more happy!!! Hopefully nothing spoils the ending of my day.

There are just too many times that people have had tried to look inside of me
Wondering what I think of you and I protect you out of courtesy
Too many times that I’ve held on when I needed to push away afraid to say what was on my mind afraid to say what I need to say
Too many things that you’ve said about me when I’m not around
You think having the upper hand means you’ve got to keep putting me down
But I’ve had too many stand-offs with you
It’s about as much as I can stand just wait until the upper hand is mine

One minute you’re on top
The next you’re not
Watch it drop
Making your heart stop
Just before you hit the floor
One minute you’re on top
The next you’re not
Missed your shot
Making your heart stop
You think you won

And then it’s all gone

So many people like me put so much trust in all your lies
So concerned with what you think to just say what we feel inside
So many people like me walk on eggshells all day long
All I know is that all I want is to feel like I’m not stepped on
There are so many things you say that make me feel like you’ve crossed the line
What goes up will surely fall and I’m counting down the time cause I’ve had so many stand-offs with you
It’s about as much as I can stand so I’m waiting until the upper hand is mine

One minute you’re on top
The next you’re not
Watch it drop
Making your heart stop
Just before you hit the floor
One minute you’re on top
The next you’re not
Missed your shot
Making your heart stop
You think you won

And then it’s all gone

I know i’ll never trust a single thing you say you knew your lies would divide us but you lied anyway
And all the lies have got you floating up above us all but what goes up has got to fall

One minute you’re on top
The next you’re not
Watch it drop
Making your heart stop
Just before you hit the floor
One minute you’re on top
The next you’re not
Missed your shot
Making your heart stop
You think you won

And then it’s all gone

See I’m going through a situation
That I can’t help
Wanna get a little closer
But I promised myself
That I would never give my heart
Away again
Oo oo babe, I know it’s hard
Butcha gotta understand it
The truth is all the hurt and the pain
And the shit that you get
When you have it
Ain’t worth it
I’ve been there so many times
I should know better but I
Can’t stop what I feel
When you’re next to me
I really think I

Finally found somebody
That could be the one
But I promised myself
That I wouldn’t give in to love
And I’m scared
And I’m nervous
Don’t wanna be hurt anymore
This is bad
‘Cause I know that you’re the one

(Baby you’re the one)
(Baby you’re the one)

See the problem with relationships
In general is that it’s always a game
In the beginning they’ll do
Anything to have you
And once they do it’s never the same
And I, know everyone out there can relate
So the question is
One: do I really wanna trust this feeling
Two: do I wanna let it pass me by
Three: do you think it’s only superficial
Four: could it actually be different this time
Someone to love me
Someone to be my everything
Maybe I’ve stumbled upon

Finally found somebody (The only one)
That could be the one
But I promised myself
That I wouldn’t give in to love (No, no)
And I’m scared
And I’m nervous (I just don’t wanna be hurt)
Don’t wanna be hurt anymore
This is bad
‘Cause I know that you’re the one
(But boy I think you might be the one)
Finally found somebody
That could be the one (Maybe I’ve found)
But I promised myself
That I wouldn’t give in to love
And I’m scared
And I’m nervous (Boy I’m so afraid)
Don’t wanna be hurt anymore
This is bad
‘Cause I know that you’re the one
(’Cause I know you’re the one)

Oh baby
Sweet darling
I
I think I finally found

Finally found somebody (The only one)
That could be the one
But I promised myself
That I wouldn’t give in to love
And I’m scared
And I’m nervous (No)
Don’t wanna be hurt anymore
(I don’t wanna be hurt anymore)
This is bad ’cause I know that you’re the one
(But I think you might really be the one)
Finally found somebody
Could be the one, but I promised myself (Finally found)
That I wouldn’t give in to love
(I promised myself not to give in)
And I’m scared
And I’m nervous
This is bad
(Anymore this is bad)
Don’t wanna be hurt anymore
This is bad
‘Cause I know that you’re the one
(’Cause I know that you’re the one)
Finally found somebody
Could be the one
(I finally found somebody that could be the one)
But I promised myself
(But I promised myself that I wouldn’t give in to love)
That I wouldn’t give in to love
And I’m scared
(And I’m scared)
And I’m nervous
(And I’m nervous)
Don’t wanna be hurt anymore
This is bad
‘Cause I know that you’re the one
(Please, please baby baby)

“Can’t hold us down” Ft. Lil’ Kim - Christina Aguilera

So what am I not supposed to have an opinion
Should I be quiet just because I’m a woman
Call me a bitch cos I speak what’s on my mind
Guess it’s easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled

When a female fires back
Suddenly the target don’t know how to act
So he does what any little boy will do
Making up a few false rumors or two

That for sure is not a man to me
Slanderin’ names for popularity
It’s sad you only get your fame through controversy
But now it’s time for me to come and give you more to say

This is for my girls all around the world
Who’ve come across a man who don’t respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we’re gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave them proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can’t hold us down

Nobody can hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Never can, never will

So what am I not supposed to say what I’m saying
Are you offended by the message I’m bringing
Call me whatever cos your words don’t mean a thing
Guess you ain’t even a man enough to handle what I sing

If you look back in history
It’s a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore

I don’t understand why it’s okay
The guy can get away with it & the girl gets named
All my ladies come together and make a change
Start a new beginning for us everybody sing

This is for my girls all around the world
Who’ve come across a man who don’t respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
What do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we’re gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave ‘em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can’t hold us down

Lil’ Kim:
Check it - Here’s something I just can’t understand
If the guy have three girls then he’s the man
He can either give us some head, sex her off
If the girl do the same, then she’s a whore
But the table’s about to turn
I’ll bet my fame on it
Cats take my ideas and put their name on it
It’s aiight though, you can’t hold me down
I got to keep on movin’
To all my girls with a man who be tryin to mack
Do it right back to him and let that be that
You need to let him know that his game is whack
And Lil’ Kim and Christina Aguilera got your back

But you’re just a little boy
Think you’re so cute, so coy
You must talk so big
To make up for small lil’ things
So you’re just a little boy
All you’ll do is annoy
You must talk so big
To make up for small lil’ things

This is for my girls…
This is for my girls all around the world
Who’ve come across a man who don’t respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we’re gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave ‘em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can’t hold us down

This is for my girls all around the world
Who’ve come across a man who don’t respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we’re gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave ‘em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can’t hold us down
Spread the word, can’t hold us down

You have a strong personality that likes to take risks if the rewards are worth it. You don’t like being told what to do and prefer to take matters into your own hands. Having a lively and outgoing personality, you don’t like to blend into the crowd and pity people that do.You take fashion trends to the EXTREME! You are aggressive in business, but tend to take the backseat when it comes to your personal life. You are more comfortable talking about work than relationships. You make sure that your possessions will boost your image, no matter whether it’s a necessity or not. If one of your friends has it, you must have it as well. Loves to talk to friends - keeps in close contact with friends. You are very outgoing and have no problem saying what you think. You are a no-nonsense, practical person. You make sure that you are there when your friends need you, and like to solve their problems for them.