The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling, “Okay, okay, I’m a rabbit, I’m a rabbit!”

Tags: fun, joke

This guy who works at a pickle factory comes home and hands his wife 50 dollars. She asked him what it was from and he told her that he won it in a bet — the guys at the factory bet him 50 dollars that he wouldn’t stick his dick in the pickle slicer.

The wife was surprised and said she wanted to make sure he was still intact. He pulled down his pants and, indeed, it was all there, unharmed.

“But what about the pickle slicer,” asked the wife, perplexed. “Oh, she liked it too,” answered the husband.

Tags: fun, joke

Three men went into a stripper bar and this stripper came over to them and started to shake her ass.

The first guy goes, “Watch this,” so he licks a 50 dollar bill and sticks it on her ass.

The second guy goes, “Oh yeah? Watch this,” so he takes a 100 dollar bill and licks it and sticks it on her ass.

The third guy goes “That’s nothing!” He takes out his credit card, slides it down her ass crack and takes the money.

Tags: fun, joke

The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing ‘father’s details’; or putting it another way, Who’s yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it replaced.

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Tags: fun, joke

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asks, “Do you know her?”

“Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” says my wife, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

So you see, there really are 2 ways to look at everything.

Tags: fun, joke